I'll explain that in a bit then. I should start back at the beginning, I think.
[Or at least as far back as he remembers. Speaking of which-]
I know most people don't really remember their first few years of life, but the gaps in my memory are a lot longer than 'a few years'. I think I was about eight or nine at the first memories I can actually recall. Everything before that is just...gone. I was already at the orphanage by then, so I don't remember my parents at all.
Not a clue. I don't ever remember what happens when- ah, that's getting ahead of myself, I'll get to that in a moment.
[I can't remember if he told Vin about the tiger powers yet, so Atsushi doesn't remember either.]
The orphanage was brutal for everyone. It was set up in such a way that the headmaster and the other adults working there could give points to kids who were following the rules or doing chores or things like that. But you had to spend points to get meals and basic necessities, so everyone was desperate to earn them. They quickly figured out that the fastest way to earn points was by tattling on other kids for rulebreaking, and they also figured out that they themselves could break the rules and blame it on other kids to earn more points.
I, er...I was often blamed for things I didn't do. Everyone saw me as an easy target, and the adults just believed them whenever the kids 'tattled' on me. And then because I wasn't earning very many points on my own, I had to steal food to stay fed. So when I got caught stealing food, I would get punished more.
[that's what she assumed, but upon hearing it... there's a clearly sympathetic expression as she shifts automatically, but seems to stop herself. after hearing that, maybe it's better if she asks first, despite touch week.]
I got kicked out of the orphanage because of my powers. At first I thought it was horrible, but I'm glad it happened. Because I left, I was able to find better people and make friends.
Oh, not always! Two people at the Agency have abilities that help prevent my transformations. But without them, yeah it would happen even if I didn't want it to.
Well I don't usually let a full transformation like that happen, no. But I'm starting to get the hang of changing just my arms or my legs and getting some of the tiger's strength while still being 'me'.
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timeasmymeasure
Might as well mark this whole thread as a content warning now
Date: 2022-03-07 03:48 am (UTC)[Or at least as far back as he remembers. Speaking of which-]
I know most people don't really remember their first few years of life, but the gaps in my memory are a lot longer than 'a few years'. I think I was about eight or nine at the first memories I can actually recall. Everything before that is just...gone. I was already at the orphanage by then, so I don't remember my parents at all.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-07 03:49 am (UTC)Nothing at all? Do you know why?
no subject
Date: 2022-03-07 04:16 am (UTC)[I can't remember if he told Vin about the tiger powers yet, so Atsushi doesn't remember either.]
The orphanage was brutal for everyone. It was set up in such a way that the headmaster and the other adults working there could give points to kids who were following the rules or doing chores or things like that. But you had to spend points to get meals and basic necessities, so everyone was desperate to earn them. They quickly figured out that the fastest way to earn points was by tattling on other kids for rulebreaking, and they also figured out that they themselves could break the rules and blame it on other kids to earn more points.
I, er...I was often blamed for things I didn't do. Everyone saw me as an easy target, and the adults just believed them whenever the kids 'tattled' on me. And then because I wasn't earning very many points on my own, I had to steal food to stay fed. So when I got caught stealing food, I would get punished more.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-07 04:20 am (UTC)[horrifying, honestly. she gives his hand a little squeeze.]
People are... often cruel, especially when put under those circumstances. But that does not mean you deserved it.
[she doesn't say it, but the fact that he didn't bow to those tactics even when the other children did - it's admirable. all the same...]
I understand now, why you said you never wanted to go back. I... imagine the punishments were more than just not earning any points?
no subject
Date: 2022-03-07 04:50 am (UTC)[For a moment his resolve wavers, but he swallows down the disgust he feels in his throat so he can speak again.]
It's why I let others check my body behind the screen. The reminders of those punishments don't just live in my memories.
[He's a skinny twink already from years of malnutrition, but he does seem shy about showing off his body.]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-07 04:53 am (UTC)...Can I hug you?
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Date: 2022-03-07 04:59 am (UTC)Sorry, I know it's heavy stuff.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-07 05:00 am (UTC)but as she does:]
...I did ask, you know.
[he has nothing to be sorry for.]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-07 05:15 am (UTC)[He hugs her a little tighter.]
Thank you. For listening, and wanting to listen in the first place.
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Date: 2022-03-07 05:31 am (UTC)Listening is not so hard, you know.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-07 05:51 am (UTC)[He's sighs, and he'll pull away from the hug.]
I got kicked out of the orphanage because of my powers. At first I thought it was horrible, but I'm glad it happened. Because I left, I was able to find better people and make friends.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-07 01:35 pm (UTC)Your powers...?
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Date: 2022-03-07 03:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-03-09 06:11 pm (UTC)I know what a wolf is, but...
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Date: 2022-03-10 04:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-03-10 04:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-03-10 04:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-03-10 04:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-03-10 05:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-03-10 05:22 am (UTC)[hm.]
And this happens every full moon, whether you want it or not?
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Date: 2022-03-10 05:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-03-10 01:59 pm (UTC)[she's curious, though.]
Do you let it happen often? Is there a benefit to it?
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Date: 2022-03-11 01:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-03-11 01:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-03-11 03:19 am (UTC)