All we have to do is use our color? That's easy enough.
[she says, not really waiting for him to say anything more before she reaches towards the edge of the bubble and then summons a splash of amber. she knows not what she's doing. it's fine. a memory begins! which will be in the next comment because it's long. book canons.....]
[As this memory begins, the first thing you may notice is a gathering crowd. You’re in some kind of city, and a multitude of people, you included, are moving towards a square in the middle of the street. You’re wearing nondescript clothing and you have your head lowered, trying to avoid attention. The second thing you might notice is the way the city looks - the sky above has an orange tint to it as it always does, and the sun looks red and angry. As you walk, ash begins to fall from the sky, light flakes drifting downwards. You’re accompanied by several other men as you approach the square and the first of them, Hammond, speaks to a man named Kelsier.
“I’d rather not do this, Kell. I avoid these things for a reason.”
Kelsier ignores him, and your group moves forward to merge into the larger one that’s steadily growing. Most of the people around you seem to be workers from factories or mills, and there’s only one reason you can think of that they would be released from work for the day and sent out here.
Executions.
You’ve never attended one of these before - by law, all noblemen and skaa are required to come view them when they occur, but the thieving crews you’ve worked in before have always stayed underground, so they never attended. For this, though, Kelsier has ordered your group to come watch as well. In the distance, you hear the tolling of bells, and government officials and guards line the side of the streets to quell any disturbances and prevent anyone from leaving. You imagine they’ve already gone into mills, factories, and other common workplaces to drag out anyone who doesn’t wish to attend - the punishment for resisting this is death, after all.
As the street become more packed, the men in front of you (Kelsier, Dockson, Breeze and Hammond, your mind supplies) begin to push a path through the rest of the onlookers. Some of them look at you with scorn as you all move past, some look resigned and compliant, but some of them seem to recognize Kelsier in particular as you all move past. These people look excited to see him and move aside eagerly, with smiles on their faces. Eventually, you make your way to a doorway, moving past after bribing a man outside and getting the entire rooftop to yourselves.
Down at the square, the nobility are separated from the skaa by a row of soldiers. The nobility are closer to the stage, and they appear to be relaxing, like they’re about to watch some kind of horse race or other form of entertainment, resting on seating that’s been provided for them. Some hold up parasols to shield against the ash falling from the sky. You look around the government officials, called Obligators and Inquisitors, around them - until you notice a familiar face, and remember something Kelsier asked you to do earlier. You nudge him and point to the man you recognize.
“There. That one’s my father.” Kelsier perks up as you say that, scanning the crowd as you continue to point. “Where?” You continue to point, specifying after a moment: “At the front of the Obligators. The shorter one with the golden robe-scarf.” Kelsier stares for a moment, shocked, before asking incredulously: “That’s your father?”
Another of the men gathered with you, Dockson, joins in the conversation. “Who? I can’t make out their faces.” “Tevidian,” Kelsier answers. It’s the first time you’ve ever heard your father’s name - he doesn’t know you exist. It’s much safer that way. Dockson looks stunned, too, when he asks: “The lord prelan?” You blink, looking between the two of them. “Who’s that?”
Breeze laughs, shocked himself. “The lord prelan is the leader of the Ministry, my dear. He’s the most important of the Lord Ruler’s obligators - technically, he ranks even higher than the Inquisitors.” There’s a pause where you try to digest this information, shocked as well, before something takes your attention away. The crowd begins to shift, making way for a carriage coming towards the town square. You pause - you didn’t hear any orders coming from the obligators, so you aren’t certain what could make all the people below move away and clear a path so uniformly.
That’s when you feel it - a oppressive numbness, a blankness settling over every emotion, smothering you. You can barely breathe for a moment before you reach inside yourself and access the power that allows you to circumvent it. You come back to yourself in a brief moment, but you can still feel a much smaller portion of that numbness still settling into you no matter your efforts. This, you know, is the Lord Ruler’s power - the way he keeps most people too dull to revolt or fight back. You can sense him coming closer, and you can see it in the way people respond, too - the crowd seems to sag as the carriage rolls in, will and drive leaving their bodies and minds.
“He’s powerful,” Breeze remarks. “At my best, I can Soothe only a couple hundred men. There have to be tens of thousands of people here!”
After a few moments of contending with this feeling, you see the prisoner carts beginning to roll closer. As you all try to identify whether any of the captured people are rebels you’ve all been working together with, Kelsier shakes his head.
“I can see the prisoners. No, I don’t recognize any of the faces. They aren’t captive soldiers.” After a confused moment, Hammond asks: “Who then?” To which Kelsier responds: “Mostly women and children, it appears.” Hammond wonders aloud if they’re the families of the soldiers, but Kelsier clarifies that they likely wouldn’t take the time to identify dead rebel soldiers to come after their families.
“Random people, Hammond,” Breeze says after another moment of confusion. “Examples - casual executions made in order to punish the skaa for harboring rebels.” There’s a stirring of guilt inside you when you hear this. Even if what you aren’t doing is wrong - these people are still about to die because of something you’re doing. But before you can think too much on this, Kelsier corrects him. “No, not even that. I doubt the Lord Ruler knows, or even cares, that most of those men were recruited from Luthadel. He probably assumes that it was just another countryside rebellion. This… This is just another way of reminding everyone who is in control.
As you watch, both the Lord Ruler’s carriage and the prisoner carts come to a stop. The officials begin pulling prisoners out of the carts, forcing four of them onto their knees on the platform near four bowl-like fountains. You know what is coming, but there’s still an ugly feeling rising inside you as four of the Inquisitors raise their axes, the people are forced onto their knees, and the weapons fall to decapitate each of them in the span of an instant. The soldiers hold the lifeless bodies, and blood falls into the basins, only to be sprayed into the air from the fountains. Just like that, four more people are brought forward.
The boy closest to your age, Spook, looks sick to his stomach as he speaks. “Why… Why doesn’t Kelsier do something? To saving them, I mean?” You only frown as you respond. “Don’t be foolish. There are eight Inquisitors down there - not to mention the Lord Ruler himself. Kelsier would be an idiot to try something.” You think to yourself, though, that you wouldn’t be surprised if he did. You glance over at him and see him holding onto the chimney next to him, knuckles white with tension, as though he’s holding on in order to stop himself from trying to save the people below. The axes fall again. Below you, four more people die. Most of your number seems disturbed or saddened, but Kelsier seems furious.
“This.” He says, sweeping his hand out in a gesture to the spectacle below. “This is our enemy. There is no quarter here, no walking away. This is no simple job, to be thrown aside when we encounter a few unexpected twists.” Four more people are executed. Blood continues to spray from the fountains. This time, Kelsier points to the seats where the nobility watch. Many of them seem bored, but some of them seem amused, joking with each other as the axes continue to fall. “Look at them! I know you question me. You think that I’ve been too hard on the nobility, think that I relish killing them too much. But can you honestly see those men laughing and tell me that they don’t deserve to die by my blade? I bring them only justice.”
The axes fall again. Four more people are executed. The memory ends.]
[He reaches out a hand to grab for hers, but he can't stop her, not before she uses her color and summons up that disturbing memory.
It's horrible. The death, the oppressive numbness, the way the nobles laughed and saw it as something for fun, the utter hopelessness, it's all horrible. But it also helps contextualize a lot of what Atsushi had been noticing about Vin, in the way she acted and the things she did and didn't know about.
The pint of ice cream and spoon are dropped to the ground, immediately forgotten. Instead, he's reaching out to pull her into a hug as the memory ends.]
[as she comes back out of the memory, tense as can be, she feels him hold her - and her first instinct after experiencing those moments is to get away, still in fight or flight mode from reliving that. she doesn't finish bringing her arm up before she realizes where she is and what's happening, though, so she stops before she can shove at him, some of the tension leaving her body. it still takes her a split second to realize why he's doing this, though.]
[Atsushi isn't quite sure either. Vin's world looks absolutely horrible, if that's what happens any time someone puts up even a little bit of resistance. So he stands there awkwardly for a moment before speaking up again.]
That...I get it now. What you said before, about how trust doesn't come easily.
[He's trying to make light of it, though in reality he does feel anxious as he touches the bubble and lets some of his color into it.]
---
'I'll take the front, you take the back.' Those were the instructions you had been given by Yosano-san, the doctor you had been traveling with. One train, two bombs, two members of the Armed Detective Agency to diffuse them. It's nerve-wracking to you, as this is only your third mission with the Agency, but Yosano-san is calm and collected and that helps you stay calm. If she is confident that you both can succeed, then surely you can pull through.
You hurry through the throngs of passengers on the train. They are all moving inwards, to the middle compartments, trying to avoid the blasts that will be coming before too long. You move outwards though, heading to the end of the train.
As you move, all you can think if 'If I fail to destroy this bomb, then all of these people are dead.' Moving inwards won't protect anyone. Either you succeed, or everyone dies.
You reach the last compartment, and a young girl is there, standing in front of you. She can't be older than 13 or 14, and yet she stands there like there's nothing to be afraid of. You call out to her, saying "It's dangerous, there's a bomb!" Trying to get her to move inwards, so that you can deal with the bomb without putting her directly in harm's way.
The girl turns to face you, and you see that she has a small phone in her hand.
A voice crackles over the phone: "Protect the bomb with your life. Kill anyone who interferes, Demon Snow."
Suddenly you feel a sharp pain in your stomach as you are run through. You fall to your knees, unable to cry out in pain due to how sudden the attack is. 'So fast,' you think to yourself. You didn't even see the girl move!
That's when you see it: the glowing woman with a drawn sword standing directly behind the girl. That must be the girl's ability, you realize.
You push yourself to your feet. Though your midsection burns with pain, you can already feel your body stitching itself back together. The healing process is nearly as painful as the stab itself, but you're grateful for it regardless. As long as your body keeps healing itself, you can keep fighting.
The voice over the phone speaks again: "Cut the enemy to ribbons, Demon Snow."
The ghostly figure behind the girl blinks out of view, and a moment later you feel your midsection get sliced open once more, spraying blood all over the train compartment in front of you.
'She's...too strong...' As you fall forward, landing on your face, you can only wonder what a girl like this is even doing here in the first place. "Why...?"
When the girl speaks, it's with a monotone voice, one devoid of all emotion or inflection. It's like speaking to a robot rather than a person. "My name is Kyouka. Like you, I am an orphan."
Demon Snow appears behind the girl- Kyouka- once more, hand ready to draw her ghostly blade once more. But Kyouka stands there, unmoving, only talking in that monotone voice. "I like rabbits and tofu. I hate dogs and lightning. In my six months with the mafia, I have killed thirty-five people."
Your stomach feels healed enough to stand up now, so you push yourself to your feet. You've lost quite a bit of blood, but you still have enough in you to keep going. For now. But as you get to your feet, that voice speaks out over the phone again: "Guard the bomb. Kill the meddler."
You can't be bothered with that voice though. Even as you see Demon Snow draw its blade once more, you only have one thought on your mind: You killed thirty-five people?"
In a flash, Demon Snow moves forward again, Pinning you to the wall of the train with its sword. Then it pulls its sword out, and you fall to the ground once more.
This time, as you recover- a bit more slowly than the previous two times, your healing isn't able to keep up with your injuries so well now- you find yourself becoming resigned to your fate. The Mafia wants you dead. You don't know why, but they've been trying to kill you for days now. And now all these people on this train will die, all because they had the misfortune to board the same train as you.
A young couple, the woman visibly pregnant.
A mother hugging her child.
A couple businessmen.
A few high school students.
They all stand one car back, watching you. Waiting. Hoping for a miracle.
"The fact that you still live and breathe harms those around you."
Your breath picks up, shifting to the barely-controlled sharp breaths that often accompany the moments where your past haunts you and freezes you up. You clutch your head with your hands, trying to squeeze out the voices that chase your darkest moments, but they still echo in your head freely.
"Why are you still alive?"
"You provide us with nothing but pain and grief."
"One with no redeeming values, such as yourself, has no right to live."
Down, down, down it drags you, into the familiar pit of self-loathing that often threatens to swallow you up.
But as you sink into that despair, a thought comes to you: If having no redeeming values meant you had no right to live, then wasn't the opposite true too? If you could use your worthless life to save the lives of others, then wouldn't it be okay to keep on living? If you use what remains of your strength to get these people home safely, then would it be okay to live just a little while longer?
With renewed strength, you pull yourself to your feet once more. Your wounds are healed once more, though your clothes remain bloody and torn. The wooziness from blood loss isn't so bad, you have it in yourself for one last attack. That should be enough.
"Stay away," the girls says. But you cannot. You have to act. You have to save everyone.
You reach down deep into yourself, calling on that power that you normally force away. 'Just a little bit,' you say to the tiger, 'give me just a little bit of your strength. Your speed.'
Demon Snow's sword swings in a wide arc, aiming to come down right on your head. Your one weak point that absolutely will kill you.
You lift up your arm to protect your head, and that arm abruptly shifts to the tiger's arm, covering you from elbow to fingertip in stronger muscles and thick fur. Fur that snaps Demon Snow's blade right in half, when the strike hits.
You dive forward, slicing Demon Snow to ribbons with your clawed hand. Then you stop just in front of the girl, claws pointed at her neck. She stands as still and emotionless as ever. "Stop this now. Show me where the bomb is."
The girl quietly pulls back the front of the outer layer of her kimono, revealing the bomb strapped to her chest. "My name is Kyouka," she says, emotionless as ever, "I killed thirty-five people. The last was a family of three: a father, a mother, and a young son. Demon Snow cut their heads off."
It's chilling, how calmly she says all of this. "Who...are you," you say in disbelief as you straighten yourself up, confident that she won't attack further, "Your words, your appearance...I sense no emotion from you. It's as if you're a killing machine."
The girl remains calm, standing there. Watching you. And so you speak again, more insistently this time. "You need to express yourself! If there's something you want, you have to put it in words! Is this truly what you want to do?"
You hold out your hand for the detonation device for the bomb. She wordlessly hands it over. But as soon as you press the 'deactivate' button, lights flash up on the bomb itself, indicating that it's been activated.
The voice over the phone speaks again: "Did you deactivate that, Kyouka?"
The girl, looking shocked, takes a step back.
The voice speaks again: "We are defusing nothing. Take the passengers with you and show the world the terror of the Mafia."
Then the phone line goes silent.
The girl stands there, looking shocked.
You reach out to her, shouting, "Lose the bomb!" But you know there can't possibly be time to remove it. This girl has seconds at most. And instead of spending those seconds scrambling for her life, she shoves you away and steps over to the open door of the moving train.
In that moment, as you watch her stand at the door, you realize something you missed before: Demon Snow only ever moved when commanded by the voice over the phone. Kyouka was never in control of her ability to begin with.
"I am Kyouka. I killed thirty-five people." Tears start to well up in her eyes, and her words finally, for the first time, show the emotion she has been keeping locked in for god knows how long. "And I do not want to kill anyone ever again!"
And then she jumps backwards, out of the train door.
There's no time to think, not that you would have to think about it anyway. What's there to think about? Someone is in danger, and only you can save them.
You leap right out of the train door, using your newly-shifted tiger legs to propel you right for Kyouka.
You grab onto the bomb with your tiger-hand and rip it off clean in one motion. Then you use your tiger strength to throw the bomb as far up into the air as you can. Far enough that, when it explodes moments later, nobody is close enough to be harmed by it.
Finally, you grab onto Kyouka, cradling her against your chest as you turn the two of you so you land back-down against the harbor's water below.
It hurts. It hurts so much. You fall nearly fifty feet to the water below, and you might as well be hitting cement with how fast you're going. You're pretty sure you've broken several bones with that stunt there. But your bones will heal within minutes. This girl- Kyouka- is alive and well, and that's what matters.
Your life is to be one of service to the people, and pain like this will become very common. But as long as your actions protect the people of Yokohama, then you will take on that pain each and every day.
This is what gives your life purpose. This is why you're still alive.
[there are some things about this she doesn't understand - she's never seen a bomb or a train before, not to mention most of the abilities on display here, but she doesn't really need to understand what they all are or how they work to follow the memory. and the feelings in the memory throw her off more than any of the objects or powers. the physical pain is one thing, and she'd be sick with worry if his injuries didn't stitch themselves up as the events continue, but the emotions...
she glances towards him, clearly concerned, but she isn't quite sure what to say for a few moments. eventually:]
You... do have worth. [...] You shouldn't do something like that here if you don't have to. When you jumped, I mean.
[He's not sure how he expected her to react. He's told Vin that she's like Kyouka, but he hopes she doesn't find the comparison offensive now that she's actually seen her. But the response she does end up giving, it makes his chest feel warm and flip-floppy and his stomach starts acting up in the way it's been for a couple weeks now. He's still not sure if this is a good or a bad thing, but in the moment it feels nice. He likes this warmth, as strange as it may be to him.]
I can think of a few people I would still jump after, even now.
[she pauses for a moment, deciding what to say, before:]
I know that when you were hurt weeks ago, you said that you would place the safety of others before yourself. [...] But if you come to a situation where you cannot protect everyone, I would have you protect yourself first.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2022-03-08 03:50 am (UTC)1/2
Date: 2022-03-08 03:53 am (UTC)[she says, not really waiting for him to say anything more before she reaches towards the edge of the bubble and then summons a splash of amber. she knows not what she's doing. it's fine. a memory begins! which will be in the next comment because it's long. book canons.....]
cw: decapitation, murder.
Date: 2022-03-08 03:55 am (UTC)“I’d rather not do this, Kell. I avoid these things for a reason.”
Kelsier ignores him, and your group moves forward to merge into the larger one that’s steadily growing. Most of the people around you seem to be workers from factories or mills, and there’s only one reason you can think of that they would be released from work for the day and sent out here.
Executions.
You’ve never attended one of these before - by law, all noblemen and skaa are required to come view them when they occur, but the thieving crews you’ve worked in before have always stayed underground, so they never attended. For this, though, Kelsier has ordered your group to come watch as well. In the distance, you hear the tolling of bells, and government officials and guards line the side of the streets to quell any disturbances and prevent anyone from leaving. You imagine they’ve already gone into mills, factories, and other common workplaces to drag out anyone who doesn’t wish to attend - the punishment for resisting this is death, after all.
As the street become more packed, the men in front of you (Kelsier, Dockson, Breeze and Hammond, your mind supplies) begin to push a path through the rest of the onlookers. Some of them look at you with scorn as you all move past, some look resigned and compliant, but some of them seem to recognize Kelsier in particular as you all move past. These people look excited to see him and move aside eagerly, with smiles on their faces. Eventually, you make your way to a doorway, moving past after bribing a man outside and getting the entire rooftop to yourselves.
Down at the square, the nobility are separated from the skaa by a row of soldiers. The nobility are closer to the stage, and they appear to be relaxing, like they’re about to watch some kind of horse race or other form of entertainment, resting on seating that’s been provided for them. Some hold up parasols to shield against the ash falling from the sky. You look around the government officials, called Obligators and Inquisitors, around them - until you notice a familiar face, and remember something Kelsier asked you to do earlier. You nudge him and point to the man you recognize.
“There. That one’s my father.” Kelsier perks up as you say that, scanning the crowd as you continue to point. “Where?” You continue to point, specifying after a moment: “At the front of the Obligators. The shorter one with the golden robe-scarf.” Kelsier stares for a moment, shocked, before asking incredulously: “That’s your father?”
Another of the men gathered with you, Dockson, joins in the conversation. “Who? I can’t make out their faces.” “Tevidian,” Kelsier answers. It’s the first time you’ve ever heard your father’s name - he doesn’t know you exist. It’s much safer that way. Dockson looks stunned, too, when he asks: “The lord prelan?” You blink, looking between the two of them. “Who’s that?”
Breeze laughs, shocked himself. “The lord prelan is the leader of the Ministry, my dear. He’s the most important of the Lord Ruler’s obligators - technically, he ranks even higher than the Inquisitors.” There’s a pause where you try to digest this information, shocked as well, before something takes your attention away. The crowd begins to shift, making way for a carriage coming towards the town square. You pause - you didn’t hear any orders coming from the obligators, so you aren’t certain what could make all the people below move away and clear a path so uniformly.
That’s when you feel it - a oppressive numbness, a blankness settling over every emotion, smothering you. You can barely breathe for a moment before you reach inside yourself and access the power that allows you to circumvent it. You come back to yourself in a brief moment, but you can still feel a much smaller portion of that numbness still settling into you no matter your efforts. This, you know, is the Lord Ruler’s power - the way he keeps most people too dull to revolt or fight back. You can sense him coming closer, and you can see it in the way people respond, too - the crowd seems to sag as the carriage rolls in, will and drive leaving their bodies and minds.
“He’s powerful,” Breeze remarks. “At my best, I can Soothe only a couple hundred men. There have to be tens of thousands of people here!”
After a few moments of contending with this feeling, you see the prisoner carts beginning to roll closer. As you all try to identify whether any of the captured people are rebels you’ve all been working together with, Kelsier shakes his head.
“I can see the prisoners. No, I don’t recognize any of the faces. They aren’t captive soldiers.” After a confused moment, Hammond asks: “Who then?” To which Kelsier responds: “Mostly women and children, it appears.” Hammond wonders aloud if they’re the families of the soldiers, but Kelsier clarifies that they likely wouldn’t take the time to identify dead rebel soldiers to come after their families.
“Random people, Hammond,” Breeze says after another moment of confusion. “Examples - casual executions made in order to punish the skaa for harboring rebels.” There’s a stirring of guilt inside you when you hear this. Even if what you aren’t doing is wrong - these people are still about to die because of something you’re doing. But before you can think too much on this, Kelsier corrects him. “No, not even that. I doubt the Lord Ruler knows, or even cares, that most of those men were recruited from Luthadel. He probably assumes that it was just another countryside rebellion. This… This is just another way of reminding everyone who is in control.
As you watch, both the Lord Ruler’s carriage and the prisoner carts come to a stop. The officials begin pulling prisoners out of the carts, forcing four of them onto their knees on the platform near four bowl-like fountains. You know what is coming, but there’s still an ugly feeling rising inside you as four of the Inquisitors raise their axes, the people are forced onto their knees, and the weapons fall to decapitate each of them in the span of an instant. The soldiers hold the lifeless bodies, and blood falls into the basins, only to be sprayed into the air from the fountains. Just like that, four more people are brought forward.
The boy closest to your age, Spook, looks sick to his stomach as he speaks. “Why… Why doesn’t Kelsier do something? To saving them, I mean?” You only frown as you respond. “Don’t be foolish. There are eight Inquisitors down there - not to mention the Lord Ruler himself. Kelsier would be an idiot to try something.” You think to yourself, though, that you wouldn’t be surprised if he did. You glance over at him and see him holding onto the chimney next to him, knuckles white with tension, as though he’s holding on in order to stop himself from trying to save the people below. The axes fall again. Below you, four more people die. Most of your number seems disturbed or saddened, but Kelsier seems furious.
“This.” He says, sweeping his hand out in a gesture to the spectacle below. “This is our enemy. There is no quarter here, no walking away. This is no simple job, to be thrown aside when we encounter a few unexpected twists.” Four more people are executed. Blood continues to spray from the fountains. This time, Kelsier points to the seats where the nobility watch. Many of them seem bored, but some of them seem amused, joking with each other as the axes continue to fall. “Look at them! I know you question me. You think that I’ve been too hard on the nobility, think that I relish killing them too much. But can you honestly see those men laughing and tell me that they don’t deserve to die by my blade? I bring them only justice.”
The axes fall again. Four more people are executed. The memory ends.]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-08 04:13 am (UTC)[He reaches out a hand to grab for hers, but he can't stop her, not before she uses her color and summons up that disturbing memory.
It's horrible. The death, the oppressive numbness, the way the nobles laughed and saw it as something for fun, the utter hopelessness, it's all horrible. But it also helps contextualize a lot of what Atsushi had been noticing about Vin, in the way she acted and the things she did and didn't know about.
The pint of ice cream and spoon are dropped to the ground, immediately forgotten. Instead, he's reaching out to pull her into a hug as the memory ends.]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-08 04:42 am (UTC)You - wait, did you see that, too?
no subject
Date: 2022-03-08 04:58 am (UTC)[Not that she could have picked the specific memory she showed anyway.
He'll hold onto the hug for a moment longer before letting go.]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-08 05:02 am (UTC)[that's genuine, but as he pulls away - she isn't quite sure what else to say about that.]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-08 12:32 pm (UTC)That...I get it now. What you said before, about how trust doesn't come easily.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-08 01:29 pm (UTC)...I am glad you didn't have to understand it before. But - I'm sorry you had to see that, too.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-10 04:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-03-10 04:37 am (UTC)[a little shrug, though.]
But... I hope that it won't be this way much longer.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-10 05:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-03-10 05:19 am (UTC)[she frowns. ]
I just hope I'm not too late, if I return.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-10 05:44 am (UTC)[He doesn't actually know, but he wants to be encouraging regardless.
Also, they are still in the bubble, so Atsushi laughs sheepishly.]
I guess I have to go too, huh?
no subject
Date: 2022-03-10 01:57 pm (UTC)[her expression says she isn't sure, but she doesn't want to be a downer, so she nods with a little smile. then she glances at the bubble with a nod.]
Whenever you're ready.
cw: terrorism, gore, verbal abuse, suicidal thoughts
Date: 2022-03-11 02:13 am (UTC)[He's trying to make light of it, though in reality he does feel anxious as he touches the bubble and lets some of his color into it.]
---
'I'll take the front, you take the back.' Those were the instructions you had been given by Yosano-san, the doctor you had been traveling with. One train, two bombs, two members of the Armed Detective Agency to diffuse them. It's nerve-wracking to you, as this is only your third mission with the Agency, but Yosano-san is calm and collected and that helps you stay calm. If she is confident that you both can succeed, then surely you can pull through.
You hurry through the throngs of passengers on the train. They are all moving inwards, to the middle compartments, trying to avoid the blasts that will be coming before too long. You move outwards though, heading to the end of the train.
As you move, all you can think if 'If I fail to destroy this bomb, then all of these people are dead.' Moving inwards won't protect anyone. Either you succeed, or everyone dies.
You reach the last compartment, and a young girl is there, standing in front of you. She can't be older than 13 or 14, and yet she stands there like there's nothing to be afraid of. You call out to her, saying "It's dangerous, there's a bomb!" Trying to get her to move inwards, so that you can deal with the bomb without putting her directly in harm's way.
The girl turns to face you, and you see that she has a small phone in her hand.
A voice crackles over the phone: "Protect the bomb with your life. Kill anyone who interferes, Demon Snow."
Suddenly you feel a sharp pain in your stomach as you are run through. You fall to your knees, unable to cry out in pain due to how sudden the attack is. 'So fast,' you think to yourself. You didn't even see the girl move!
That's when you see it: the glowing woman with a drawn sword standing directly behind the girl. That must be the girl's ability, you realize.
You push yourself to your feet. Though your midsection burns with pain, you can already feel your body stitching itself back together. The healing process is nearly as painful as the stab itself, but you're grateful for it regardless. As long as your body keeps healing itself, you can keep fighting.
The voice over the phone speaks again: "Cut the enemy to ribbons, Demon Snow."
The ghostly figure behind the girl blinks out of view, and a moment later you feel your midsection get sliced open once more, spraying blood all over the train compartment in front of you.
'She's...too strong...' As you fall forward, landing on your face, you can only wonder what a girl like this is even doing here in the first place. "Why...?"
When the girl speaks, it's with a monotone voice, one devoid of all emotion or inflection. It's like speaking to a robot rather than a person. "My name is Kyouka. Like you, I am an orphan."
Demon Snow appears behind the girl- Kyouka- once more, hand ready to draw her ghostly blade once more. But Kyouka stands there, unmoving, only talking in that monotone voice. "I like rabbits and tofu. I hate dogs and lightning. In my six months with the mafia, I have killed thirty-five people."
Your stomach feels healed enough to stand up now, so you push yourself to your feet. You've lost quite a bit of blood, but you still have enough in you to keep going. For now. But as you get to your feet, that voice speaks out over the phone again: "Guard the bomb. Kill the meddler."
You can't be bothered with that voice though. Even as you see Demon Snow draw its blade once more, you only have one thought on your mind: You killed thirty-five people?"
In a flash, Demon Snow moves forward again, Pinning you to the wall of the train with its sword. Then it pulls its sword out, and you fall to the ground once more.
This time, as you recover- a bit more slowly than the previous two times, your healing isn't able to keep up with your injuries so well now- you find yourself becoming resigned to your fate. The Mafia wants you dead. You don't know why, but they've been trying to kill you for days now. And now all these people on this train will die, all because they had the misfortune to board the same train as you.
A young couple, the woman visibly pregnant.
A mother hugging her child.
A couple businessmen.
A few high school students.
They all stand one car back, watching you. Waiting. Hoping for a miracle.
"The fact that you still live and breathe harms those around you."
Your breath picks up, shifting to the barely-controlled sharp breaths that often accompany the moments where your past haunts you and freezes you up. You clutch your head with your hands, trying to squeeze out the voices that chase your darkest moments, but they still echo in your head freely.
"Why are you still alive?"
"You provide us with nothing but pain and grief."
"One with no redeeming values, such as yourself, has no right to live."
Down, down, down it drags you, into the familiar pit of self-loathing that often threatens to swallow you up.
But as you sink into that despair, a thought comes to you: If having no redeeming values meant you had no right to live, then wasn't the opposite true too? If you could use your worthless life to save the lives of others, then wouldn't it be okay to keep on living? If you use what remains of your strength to get these people home safely, then would it be okay to live just a little while longer?
With renewed strength, you pull yourself to your feet once more. Your wounds are healed once more, though your clothes remain bloody and torn. The wooziness from blood loss isn't so bad, you have it in yourself for one last attack. That should be enough.
"Stay away," the girls says. But you cannot. You have to act. You have to save everyone.
You reach down deep into yourself, calling on that power that you normally force away. 'Just a little bit,' you say to the tiger, 'give me just a little bit of your strength. Your speed.'
Demon Snow's sword swings in a wide arc, aiming to come down right on your head. Your one weak point that absolutely will kill you.
You lift up your arm to protect your head, and that arm abruptly shifts to the tiger's arm, covering you from elbow to fingertip in stronger muscles and thick fur. Fur that snaps Demon Snow's blade right in half, when the strike hits.
You dive forward, slicing Demon Snow to ribbons with your clawed hand. Then you stop just in front of the girl, claws pointed at her neck. She stands as still and emotionless as ever. "Stop this now. Show me where the bomb is."
The girl quietly pulls back the front of the outer layer of her kimono, revealing the bomb strapped to her chest. "My name is Kyouka," she says, emotionless as ever, "I killed thirty-five people. The last was a family of three: a father, a mother, and a young son. Demon Snow cut their heads off."
It's chilling, how calmly she says all of this. "Who...are you," you say in disbelief as you straighten yourself up, confident that she won't attack further, "Your words, your appearance...I sense no emotion from you. It's as if you're a killing machine."
The girl remains calm, standing there. Watching you. And so you speak again, more insistently this time. "You need to express yourself! If there's something you want, you have to put it in words! Is this truly what you want to do?"
You hold out your hand for the detonation device for the bomb. She wordlessly hands it over. But as soon as you press the 'deactivate' button, lights flash up on the bomb itself, indicating that it's been activated.
The voice over the phone speaks again: "Did you deactivate that, Kyouka?"
The girl, looking shocked, takes a step back.
The voice speaks again: "We are defusing nothing. Take the passengers with you and show the world the terror of the Mafia."
Then the phone line goes silent.
The girl stands there, looking shocked.
You reach out to her, shouting, "Lose the bomb!" But you know there can't possibly be time to remove it. This girl has seconds at most. And instead of spending those seconds scrambling for her life, she shoves you away and steps over to the open door of the moving train.
In that moment, as you watch her stand at the door, you realize something you missed before: Demon Snow only ever moved when commanded by the voice over the phone. Kyouka was never in control of her ability to begin with.
"I am Kyouka. I killed thirty-five people." Tears start to well up in her eyes, and her words finally, for the first time, show the emotion she has been keeping locked in for god knows how long. "And I do not want to kill anyone ever again!"
And then she jumps backwards, out of the train door.
There's no time to think, not that you would have to think about it anyway. What's there to think about? Someone is in danger, and only you can save them.
You leap right out of the train door, using your newly-shifted tiger legs to propel you right for Kyouka.
You grab onto the bomb with your tiger-hand and rip it off clean in one motion. Then you use your tiger strength to throw the bomb as far up into the air as you can. Far enough that, when it explodes moments later, nobody is close enough to be harmed by it.
Finally, you grab onto Kyouka, cradling her against your chest as you turn the two of you so you land back-down against the harbor's water below.
It hurts. It hurts so much. You fall nearly fifty feet to the water below, and you might as well be hitting cement with how fast you're going. You're pretty sure you've broken several bones with that stunt there. But your bones will heal within minutes. This girl- Kyouka- is alive and well, and that's what matters.
Your life is to be one of service to the people, and pain like this will become very common. But as long as your actions protect the people of Yokohama, then you will take on that pain each and every day.
This is what gives your life purpose. This is why you're still alive.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-11 02:29 am (UTC)she glances towards him, clearly concerned, but she isn't quite sure what to say for a few moments. eventually:]
You... do have worth. [...] You shouldn't do something like that here if you don't have to. When you jumped, I mean.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-11 03:54 am (UTC)I can think of a few people I would still jump after, even now.
[One of them is standing right in front of him.]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-11 04:11 am (UTC)And I imagine those people would not want to lose you.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-11 08:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-03-11 08:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-03-12 02:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-03-12 02:47 am (UTC)I know that when you were hurt weeks ago, you said that you would place the safety of others before yourself. [...] But if you come to a situation where you cannot protect everyone, I would have you protect yourself first.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-14 02:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-03-14 03:01 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From: