She was angry -- that wasn't too unfamiliar, of course, from what others have told me. [ She's just always screaming and yelling and pissed off. ] But I could feel it, too, I felt... the anger of knowing that no matter, here or back home, in the end I will be killed.
[He wants to deny it and say his is too selfish, but what's the point in that? He's supposed to be comforting her and telling her it's okay to want things, so it wouldn't make sense for him to deny his own wants.]
...I want a home. Somewhere that I belong. Where I don't have to hide who I am or the demons that lurk in the shadows of my mind, and people accept me regardless. Where, even if I mess up or fail at something, it'll be alright.
Truthfully, I never really had one until recently. But I would like for my friends to find a safe way home. [ She smiles. ] And you are all included in that dream now.
[ Though she seems just a tad embarrassed for admitting that. ] I sincerely hope that you all will find a way back to your loved ones and, maybe… if there’s even a small chance: perhaps those of us who have died will return them as well. It would be nice to be called home.
[ Well wherever Atsushi is she's walking up to him. Anger evident in her gaze, the black smoke swirling with scarlet as her face takes on that skull. But now it spreads to her arms, her fingers, sharpening like claws. ]
Hey! I know what I'm talking about? You really think you fucking know it all, huh?
Well yeah, I really did think that's what had happened. They DO care about each other, of course Damien would protect someone he cares about if he had the chance!
And here's something you don't know: I fucking know this!
They both would, it drives me insane. [ Don't mind her, she's just going to start pacing around. ] But I know... -- Fuck, at least Damien promised me he wouldn't do anything to get himself killed.
[He's watching her pace now, still holding his bowl of cereal while she rants.]
He might have promised that, but he's also someone who has too short of a temper and too long of a vindictive streak.
[He's not saying this to be mean, he's even sighing a little as he says it. He likes Damien a lot but wow he sure has his negative traits!]
From the time you were voted out until the time I was voted out, he never let me forget that I failed to find 9s's killer. He always reminded me that I was too late, that I failed both you and him, and that I was a terrible detective for it. And if he did that when it comes to something like being voted out, I can only imagine what he would do if it was a situation where he actually could intervene in some way.
That's why I thought he did it: because I know how he can be when someone he cares about is threatened. I'm glad I was proven wrong in the end, but that's why I thought what I did.
[ And she doesn't make promises a lot so? This is important to her. ]
I doubt he would've left Crow out in the cold like that, if his intentions were protecting him. Damien's an asshole but he's not going to chance someone he cares about not dying from fucking freezing to death to dip out of the scene.
[That actually gets him to stop for a moment. Like he had been about to say something, and then he stops with his mouth open and closes it again. And then he frowns.]
...if Yasusada thought he was protecting Kashuu, then why did he leave Crow out there to freeze?
[He's suddenly realizing that it doesn't make sense.]
Not necessarily. I didn't say anything when I was refracted, even at the end when I had been caught. Each refraction is based on the individual person, right?
Well it’s easy not to say anything about it when you’re next on the chopping block. [ Literally… my dude, you got executed. ]
Yeah. At least from what we know. Mine might have been a little different considering my other half wouldn’t be able to remember shit about the murder itself, but she could feel that anger from being refracted.
But those are some weird ass details no one gives a shit about. Anyway —
I don’t think… that if Crow was in a position where he may endanger himself or everyone else, that he’d be silent about it. [ Her expression sours. ] Maybe the Prism is just forcing him to forget, or something? He kept talking about how fucked up his memory was the entire time.
...when I disappeared with Damien, Yasusada, and Vax that one week, the place we ended up at messed with our memories too. But not all of our memories. It was only the negative ones.
We had a...stage area, I suppose? And up on that stage, we saw several people die in horrible ways. But even as we were watching it happen, I was already starting to forget it. Like it wasn't real, and I didn't even know who was dying, despite the fact that it was one of my closest friends.
I didn't really think anything of that specific detail at first, because I always assumed the more important part of that trip was the whole "choose between safety or growth" was the more important part. But then something similar happened to me last week, where I felt that same 'distance' from Vanille's death too. And this week people came back from their trips with missing memories, and Crow has trouble remembering the attack. And each and every time, it always seems like it's the negative memories that are affected. And then we can look at the Residents themselves: they don't remember the four Residents who died- which definitely would be negative memories- and they seem to like the Prism and are reluctant to change.
[It's not enough to draw a conclusion yet, but it's making him ask more questions. There's too many pieces to put together and he has but two braincells to rub together.]
That's because they're trying to make you all comfortable, right? The Prism, I mean. It may be reacting in a way to making sure those that are possibly close to refracting... not? By toying with their memories and then causing the emotions that may have been overwhelming with a certain color to balance out.
Just a guess, though.
But obviously getting comfortable here isn't a good idea, because I'm assuming that's what happened to the Resident's here. They made it their home and essentially forgot about the dead.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
Week 2, Saturday
Date: 2022-03-06 02:57 am (UTC)He's going to go through the archway and linger at the entrance as he looks to see if Marie is busy talking to someone else or not.]
Marie? Are you, um, are you busy right now?
no subject
Date: 2022-03-06 03:24 am (UTC)I am not, no.
[ Come on in... bub. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-06 03:36 am (UTC)I know this might be odd, since we haven't really talked much before. But, um. I wanted to stay with you for a bit, if that's okay?
no subject
Date: 2022-03-06 03:48 am (UTC)This is... a little awkward? Sure. But if this is what he wants to do... ]
I don't mind... but if you're going to ask about what happened, I can't tell you everything.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-06 04:10 am (UTC)[It's a guess, but he has his reasons for guessing that.]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-06 04:15 am (UTC)I remember... brief glimpses, but the entire night is a blur.
But I could still feel her -- if only briefly. It didn't seem like she... was entirely in control, either.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-06 04:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-03-06 04:29 am (UTC)She was angry -- that wasn't too unfamiliar, of course, from what others have told me. [ She's just always screaming and yelling and pissed off. ] But I could feel it, too, I felt... the anger of knowing that no matter, here or back home, in the end I will be killed.
In the end, I am not meant to live a normal life.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-06 05:03 am (UTC)I'm sorry. Even though you wanted no part in this, it's still happened.
[Maybe if they had worked quicker. Maybe if they hadn't done that murder mystery in the first place.]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-06 05:13 am (UTC)It’s better this way… in the end, what I want is all selfish to begin with. But this is the best outcome.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-06 05:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-03-06 05:38 am (UTC)Is there something you want, Atsushi-san? Something that you would do anything for?
no subject
Date: 2022-03-06 07:59 pm (UTC)Haha, well...I do, but it's really silly and kind of selfish.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-07 01:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-03-07 02:28 am (UTC)...I want a home. Somewhere that I belong. Where I don't have to hide who I am or the demons that lurk in the shadows of my mind, and people accept me regardless. Where, even if I mess up or fail at something, it'll be alright.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-08 04:05 pm (UTC)[ And it's very similar to her own, but she won't say that. ]
I truly hope that you can escape from here and find that place where you can rest with people who love you with all their heart.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-10 04:31 am (UTC)[He feels kind of bad hearing it, because she's definitely about to die tomorrow.]
What about you? What's your dream?
no subject
Date: 2022-03-12 02:44 am (UTC)Truthfully, I never really had one until recently. But I would like for my friends to find a safe way home. [ She smiles. ] And you are all included in that dream now.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-14 03:01 am (UTC)Dreaming for others is a good dream, I think. Thank you. For sharing it, and for your kind thoughts.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-15 07:11 am (UTC)[ Though she seems just a tad embarrassed for admitting that. ] I sincerely hope that you all will find a way back to your loved ones and, maybe… if there’s even a small chance: perhaps those of us who have died will return them as well. It would be nice to be called home.
w5, post-trial
Date: 2022-03-27 01:45 am (UTC)Hey! I know what I'm talking about? You really think you fucking know it all, huh?
no subject
Date: 2022-03-27 01:51 am (UTC)He does jump in place a little when Wicked storms up to him, but otherwise he watches her with wide eyes while she rants.]
I...no? I don't know everything, in fact I'm pretty sure I don't know most things.
[He's not nearly as worked up as he was earlier and actually he's a little frightened of Wicked now.]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-27 02:06 am (UTC)You were over there saying shit like "Damien probably killed for Crow", all because it's obvious that they fucking care about each other, right?
no subject
Date: 2022-03-27 02:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-03-27 02:19 am (UTC)They both would, it drives me insane. [ Don't mind her, she's just going to start pacing around. ] But I know... -- Fuck, at least Damien promised me he wouldn't do anything to get himself killed.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-27 02:30 am (UTC)He might have promised that, but he's also someone who has too short of a temper and too long of a vindictive streak.
[He's not saying this to be mean, he's even sighing a little as he says it. He likes Damien a lot but wow he sure has his negative traits!]
From the time you were voted out until the time I was voted out, he never let me forget that I failed to find 9s's killer. He always reminded me that I was too late, that I failed both you and him, and that I was a terrible detective for it. And if he did that when it comes to something like being voted out, I can only imagine what he would do if it was a situation where he actually could intervene in some way.
That's why I thought he did it: because I know how he can be when someone he cares about is threatened. I'm glad I was proven wrong in the end, but that's why I thought what I did.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-27 02:55 am (UTC)They both promised me.
[ And she doesn't make promises a lot so? This is important to her. ]
I doubt he would've left Crow out in the cold like that, if his intentions were protecting him. Damien's an asshole but he's not going to chance someone he cares about not dying from fucking freezing to death to dip out of the scene.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-27 02:57 am (UTC)...if Yasusada thought he was protecting Kashuu, then why did he leave Crow out there to freeze?
[He's suddenly realizing that it doesn't make sense.]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-27 03:04 am (UTC)...
Still doesn't make sense, I guess.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-27 03:08 am (UTC)[And here he thought that the only refracted one for that case was Meteion!]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-27 03:16 am (UTC)[ Huh? Huh? HUH????? SAY SIKE ]
But wouldn't he say somethin', if that was the case?
no subject
Date: 2022-03-27 03:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-03-27 03:55 am (UTC)Yeah. At least from what we know. Mine might have been a little different considering my other half wouldn’t be able to remember shit about the murder itself, but she could feel that anger from being refracted.
But those are some weird ass details no one gives a shit about. Anyway —
I don’t think… that if Crow was in a position where he may endanger himself or everyone else, that he’d be silent about it. [ Her expression sours. ] Maybe the Prism is just forcing him to forget, or something? He kept talking about how fucked up his memory was the entire time.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-27 04:14 am (UTC)...when I disappeared with Damien, Yasusada, and Vax that one week, the place we ended up at messed with our memories too. But not all of our memories. It was only the negative ones.
We had a...stage area, I suppose? And up on that stage, we saw several people die in horrible ways. But even as we were watching it happen, I was already starting to forget it. Like it wasn't real, and I didn't even know who was dying, despite the fact that it was one of my closest friends.
I didn't really think anything of that specific detail at first, because I always assumed the more important part of that trip was the whole "choose between safety or growth" was the more important part. But then something similar happened to me last week, where I felt that same 'distance' from Vanille's death too. And this week people came back from their trips with missing memories, and Crow has trouble remembering the attack. And each and every time, it always seems like it's the negative memories that are affected. And then we can look at the Residents themselves: they don't remember the four Residents who died- which definitely would be negative memories- and they seem to like the Prism and are reluctant to change.
[It's not enough to draw a conclusion yet, but it's making him ask more questions. There's too many pieces to put together and he has but two braincells to rub together.]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-27 12:43 pm (UTC)Just a guess, though.
But obviously getting comfortable here isn't a good idea, because I'm assuming that's what happened to the Resident's here. They made it their home and essentially forgot about the dead.